Lively looking
by planet p
Summary: AU; why does it only look like something like life when it’s real? She can get so sick of the game sometimes. / Bobby’s era.


_1976_

Chelsea's grousy; Bobby's falling asleep. He wakes up to the sound of crying; Melody's, not Chelsea's. He's supposed to be concentrating on something; he checks his timetable; his eyes are too bleary to be stuffed looking around the room. Well, that's it – Biology. He's supposed to be concentrating on biology. What the fuck! His sister's crying; she's _upset_, and he's supposed to give a shit about _what_? _Science_ class! Not likely.

The teacher sends him out of class; angry.

He almost yelps, "What did I say?" but he has an imagination that's just big enough to picture Mel's pissed off words. He almost smiles. "Ain't so bad, sugar," he says to no one; Marianne Phillips gives him a strange look that says, _Don't talk to me, 'kay! I know who you are, freak!_ He says nothing back.

The school counsellor isn't pleased as she approaches the classroom; just taking a walk and look who it is, thrown out of class again! Big surprise!

His eyes widen; he lunges forward and grabs the woman's wrist, eyes full of disappointment. Oops! Not his Mel; someone else instead. _Put it down_, he thinks real hard, _don't think about it again._

She turns the knife slowly, watching it as though it's an old friend from times gone by, _Hey, why'd I forget you!_

He lets go of the woman's wrist and runs for it. _No, Mel! Melody, baby!_ He wants to cry. He's suddenly outside; he trips over something stupid and doesn't bother getting up. "Put it the fuck down! Listen to me when I'm talking to you, bitch! Hey, it's not a game!" He doesn't bother shutting up, either. That's what Mel would have said to their mother if she'd been older; if her vocabulary would have been as colourful as it was nowadays.

_Stop it_, he thinks, _someone will hear._ And then, _Fuck them! Fuck this whole town! Crazy, the lot of them!_

He starts crying. _I love you, Mel. Why do you want to do this?_

She cries, too.

He doesn't fool himself; it's not because of him. He concentrates on remembering something; something that hers, not his. Catherine, on a good day. Mel's mother. _I love you, baby._

His twin sister snaps out of her trance: w-what? What was that?

It doesn't happen again; just once. He hopes it'll be enough. He feels awful. She thinks it was her dead mother; there's no reason for him to feel anything else. But she puts the knife away.

She has music class, anyway.

He sits on the ground and rocks back and forth. He's still crying, damn him! His wrist hurts. He doesn't look down; he knows it's not cut; knows she didn't really do it.

Music class: she's looking around for her gear, her steps are quick and lively; you'd never know.

He wishes she had a friend, not just loved ones dying and voices in her head. Not just, _he loves me but he's busy_. He can think of a million different things he wants to scream – well, aren't you _some_ fucking father – but Mr. Parker is in Delaware, and he's not. Wishing it isn't just going to make it so, he knows that.

The headmaster walks over.

_Here we go_, Bobby thinks. He doesn't dislike the headmaster, but his sister just tried to kill herself; he really can't make himself feel any better even if it _absolutely imperative_!

_Get him talking about something that'll take his mind of his shitty job at this shitty job_, he thinks, _he likes that._

He wipes his nose on his sleeve and brushes his tears away, getting to his feet. He's gotten himself all messy on the ground, but he couldn't give two hoots: his parents are a different story.

The headmaster refrains from making a fuss; it's not all that a big thing, anyway. The kids around here are like that; messy. Full of messy thoughts in matching with their handwriting, couldn't hold an essay to save their lives. _Why? Cos, ah, cos!_

His secretary's got herself a new boyfriend; that makes him real happy. He's just one happy chap. Sarcasm included.

"Biology's that bad, mmm?" The headmaster knows his timetable; it shows how much he's always getting thrown out of class.

He wonders if he'll fail this year. _Please mummy and daddy, that would_, he thinks with some humour. Not the right sort of humour, though, he knows. "I felt sick." He starts off on some tangent, not even really listening to himself; he doesn't want to be Bobby right now.

Sydney's drinking coffee in his office; Jarod's frustrated: why can't he work this out? _You'll get there, Jar_, he thinks, _you always do._ He knows it's not fibbing; Jarod's real clever. Mel and he used to be friends once, before she had to go away.

Finally, Mel's made it to class. Her life's somebody else's idea of quality entertainment, she thinks, _Hey, girl, you're up next, look lively, 'ey!_

_Same_, he thinks. He misses his sister.

* * *

**Lively looking** by planet p

**Disclaimer** I don't own _the Pretender_ or any of its characters.


End file.
